Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Wisdom Wednesday "It's Complicated"

Wisdom Wednesday are thoughts for social conversation and sharing our honest opinions, ideals and Wisdom. All of us have a value worth sharing; it may motivate another to stop, continue and/ or begin a certain process in our personal or social development.

"It's Complicated"...

a term used to describe a relationship status. According the movie Social Network, it's a driving force of social life and it's the first bit of information sought out on profiles. Is it a social label for "holding on" or just an excuse. A blog-ver-sa-tion that can go in any direction, but it's worth a conversation. Hopefully these 3 situations, can shed some light. Let's see....

"Been in this relationship with you since high school and we've experienced, mostly all the challenges a single couple can endure. Though a courtship is not marriage, our bond is considered exclusive. It has been five years since our high school graduation. When our friends asked I say, "we are still together" it seems matrimony would be an obvious next step. During our intimate moments and the marriage topic surfaces I hear, I'm not ready. "OMG!" I'm thinking "what-why" am I wasting my time, so we compromise and decide moving into our own place. So now I'm cooking you dinner while nurturing our newborn's smiles and I'm thinking, Wow...."

"I recently divorced, we mainly split over financial difficulty. Though, that should not be a driving factor for divorce, the arguments were getting too intense. The loud disagreements starting bothering our relatives and the children so much - the police department gave us the final warning the last time our neighbors called. Now after the divorce, we are still having sex. Our faith is a driving factor, but having no sex and after having sex is a physical hardship. We find ourselves still together after each holiday, birthday or any day the wind blows too hard. Our finances have not gotten any better, and we still have no closure. Recently I got news, about an interested community member who is well respected is asking about me. I'm breaching my spiritual commitment with my ex and now I'm getting a responsible inquiry about my status...."

"We have been neighbors for years, and basically we function some sincere feelings under platonic friendship. Our family adores the support we give each other. We look nothing alike each, but we commonly get the brother and sister comments from people. Our relationship with others never last and on numerous occasions, others have accused us of being more than friends. Our bond has been considered a burden for others, but not to us. We keep each other secrets, we actually know and have done too much together - a trust few experience. Honestly we try to create what we have together with others and each time, those attempts fail..."

It seems today many are suffering under the social label "It's Complicated". Good people entrapped within their own imagination for happiness. Seeking means of Matrimony, Closure and/ or the Honest Truth. Wanting to have a sane and healthy relationship is normal. Building up courage to stand as strong logical adults, is a move many of us need to do. Remaining in fiction only deteriorates the remaining life we have left. There is no real answer for human behavior, but discipline. A step in a logical direction for comfort would be the best decision for complicated issues and the sake of sanity.

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  1. I don't believe relationships are complicated...the people who hold these relationships are "complicated." In reading each scenario, it is blatantly obvious that: #1. People do not know when and how to part (break up), and #2. Take a chance. In scenario one, she made her bed and now is laying in it. If the topic of marriage has arisen a numerous amount of times and he adheres to the same response, 9 times out of 10 you are not getting married. Having a baby wasn't going to change his mind and she can not get angry because he planted his feet before the baby was even a factor. The situation was easy...either you conform or flee. Same thing with scenario #2, the marriage is over, but sex is what brings them together. Nothing has change as it relates to the problem and the relationship is not better so part ways.

    Again, people are what make relationships complicated. If we open our eyes and stay true to what we see, know, and believe in our hearts instead of re-enacting to our "What ifs," there would be no "complicated" statuses.

  2. Great post, I love this one. "It's Complicated" I tend to lmbo or rotf every time I see this as someone's status or hear someone speak those two words, why? Because first I want to know what's so "complicated" about it and second why would anyone want to stay in a "complicated" situation? I know it's probably not a laughing matter to the individuals involved in this "complicated" madness but it's funny to me, I guess because I just don't get it. Truth is it's usually not the relationship that's 'complicated" it's the two people or the situation that makes it “complicated.” Most people stay in these so called "complicated" relationships because they think the person will eventually come around, are afraid of starting over and are afraid of being alone. They get so use to being in these "complicated" relationships that it's almost un-normal to be in one that's not.  Personally when I see/hear "It's Complicated" I view the individual as being weak a person afraid to leave what they consider  “ COMPLICATED" I mean really what's so hard about walking away from, getting over, cutting ties and leaving a "complicated" situation? Waiting for a proposal, a baby, sex, money, comfort.........etc should never be a reason to stay in a "complicated" relationship. If "IT'S COMPLICATED" then un-complicate it and get out!

  3. @Melodic: I agree with your wisdom and people do make things harder than it really is. Here's the twist in conversation 1 "the high school relationship" the speaker could be a man waiting for his woman to understand. There are men who desire the hand of their woman, can cook and have the ability to nurture his child's smile...something to think about;-)

    @Ms. Tamm: Girl you go hard! I like it. Yes strength is needed. In each scenario lies insecurities; being alone, physical discipline and denial. I would like to see our spiritual eye kick in, for our guidance and wisdom...not being all holy but having a disciplined conscious.


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